A friend asked how I met my husband, because we lost touch over that period of time and just recently connected. So instead of having a conversation like human beings did in a world without social media, I have decided to share it with the world. After all, the whole way I met my husband was through blogging, so it only makes sense to tell about it that way.
Once upon a time…
…way back in the early 2000’s when social media consisted of much more superficial forums such as livejournal and myspace, some friends persuaded me to join xanga. Oh the days when you would make your diary public, exploit your heart, and let all your friends and strangers comment on it. Anyway, I jumped in with both feet. I planned out my color schemes about 3 times a week, joined blog rings, stalked my friends, and when they were too boring, I stalked strangers who had also joined the afore mentioned blog rings.
I always ended up unintentionally reading this one boy’s blog that kept getting bumped to the top of the “I ❤ Norma Jean!!!” blog ring. Not because this boy loved Norma Jean so much, but because he posted a new post 2-3 times a day. He was pretty interesting. He wrote a lot about theology, and I was into that. He was in college and was majoring in graphic design, and while I know very little about graphic design, my dad also majored in graphic design in college. So I would comment on his art posts from time to time, and eventually he would start to comment on my own posts.
It happened slowly, and after 7 years it’s hard to remember all of the how or whys, but we did eventually start talking to one another. First on myspace and facebook, then on AIM (which was before facebook messenger). It wasn’t too long before Joe’s mom, sister, and brother (also xanga users) noticed some strange girl talking to him and started following our conversations. Then he went home to Kansas for the summer and they started gathering around Joe’s computer whenever he would talk to me. My siblings also started to talk to him via AIM. And at some point a conspiracy was hatched behind our backs that Joe and Nicki needed to get married.
One day Joe’s mom, who had somehow acquired my phone number, gave me a call, and then after a few moments of conversation handed the phone to Joe, insomuch forcing our first verbal conversation. After we started calling one another once or twice a week, his mom suggested that I fly out to meet them.
Let me not forget to mention that in the midst of this ridiculous friendship that was starting, I had already kind of given up the idea that I would meet someone. As much as I was amused by Joe’s family, and yes I was curious about him, and I very much enjoyed having conversations with him, I wasn’t about to set myself up for disappointment. Realistically I didn’t expect anything to happen with a boy who lived halfway across the country who I had met on the internet. I had real plans for my life.
I had just been to visit Sarajevo, Bosnia on a week long ministry convention for homeschoolers, and was preparing to go back indefinitely. While there I would take the responsibility of heading an English language library and work along side a team who was working to translate the bible into Serbo-Croatian.
So of course, Joe and I made a plan to meet one another! Why not.
In January 2008 I was to fly to Orlando, Florida to be appointed as a missionary with an organization, and from there I would work to raise the support I needed. His mom’s plan was to make my return “home” flight to their home in Kansas, and then after my visit, they would fly me back to Maine. Good plan, horrible idea.
I thought to myself, “I kinda want to meet, but what if they are super creepy, not what they seem people ready to kidnap me!?” SUCH a bad idea. Then I thought to myself, “My parents would never go for this! Perfect! I have my out. My parents will say this is a bad idea, and then I can tell these folks no without feeling bad about it.” So then I ask, and I say, “Mom, this guy I’ve been talking to on the internet…well his mom wants to fly me out to meet him and his family.”
And then my sister immediately butts in and says, “Yes! Do it! Mom, you have to let her go. He is awesome!”
Mom said she’d talk about it with dad, and then they LET ME GO! WHAT!?
So I went.
We were both sad.
It felt like I was leaving my best friend, never to be seen again.
The following weekend was my birthday and that same weekend Joe went out hunting with his dad to ask for some man advice on what to do about me. His dad told him to be a man and do something about it. So Joe wrote 3 letters. One was to my parents, one was to my siblings, and one was to me. My parents and siblings got theirs first. They were letters thanking them for trusting me into the care of strangers and that I was a joy and a delight (my own adjectives added). Well, my dad was super impressed by this so Joe was earning some points.
When I finally got my letter it was telling me how much he had come to value our friendship, that he respected my decision to go to Sarajevo, but that he would like to pursue a more serious relationship with me if I was on board with it. By the end of the day I had told him yes, and he was emailing my parents to ask their permission.
In March, he flew to Maine to meet my family.
In May, he moved into our basement, got a job, paid off his student loans.
In October we got engaged.
In March 2009 I left to serve in Bosnia i Herzegovina for 7 months.
I came home in October.
We were married in September 2010.